31.10.10

Things *NOT* to do if you want to seem Israeli

Here's a list of things I've noticed Americans doing that they (ok, we) tend to think makes us look Israeli... but that actually make us look like fresh-off-the-Nefesh-b-Nefesh-flight olim, or worse: here-for-a-year-on-a-gap-year-program Americans.

Disclaimer: these are great things to do if you want to seem Israeli when you're in America. Just not in Israel.

1. Wear wrap-around pants. 

 Yes, these pants are comfy, cool and only cost about 15 shekels in the shuk. But unless you're either A) cleaning your house with bleach on a Friday morning or B) Idan Raichel, don't wear these pants in Israel anytime someone else can see you.

2. Call the New Israeli Shekel a "shek." 

This seems to be slang popular among the Jerusalem English-speaking crowd, but I've never heard it from Israelis. The formal term for the shekel is "shach," short for "shekel chadash," which could be the source of this bit of Anglo slang, but "shach" is only used by newscaster-types. Say it with me, folks: they're called are sh'kalim.

2. Wear tzahal clothing when you aren't in the army.


Yes, I'll admit that I went on Birthright when I was 18 and bought the requisite army shirt. (Hey, it matches my eyes!) But in Israel, wearing army clothing means you're actually serving in the army. In fact, Israelis get so sick of wearing army clothes while they actually serve in the army that you would be hard-pressed to find any olive green in an Israeli wardrobe. So save that tzahal shirt as a gift for your friends back in the US.  In fact, wearing basically any shirt with Hebrew writing on it, in Israel, is a decent indication that you aren't Israeli (unless that shirt has a cut-out neck and says "madrich"-- counselor-- on it somewhere).

4. Wear a kippa when you aren't orthodox.

My parents are very active members of a reform congregation in the US, but dress my ex-hippie dad up in the right clothing and he could pass as a chasid. I have literally never seen his chin. When they came to visit me in Israel last year, my dad decided to celebrate being in the Jewish state by wearing a kippa (yarmulke) all the time. Problem is, like a tzahal uniform, a kippa has a specific meaning in Israel. At the very least, it means that you are either on your way to a synagogue or shomer shabbat and shomer kashrut, so for my dad to wear a kippa while touring the country on shabbat... confusing.

5. Say "shalom!" to strangers.

My husband and I were recently in a national park when a couple walked past us, smiled brightly, and said "shalom aleichem!" We were not at all surprised when they turned out to be German Christian tourists... we would have been shocked had they turned out to be native-born Israelis.  On the other hand, feel free to strike up a conversation with any shop owner, bus driver, or waiter that you see, and say "shabbat shalom" anytime to say goodbye to any Israeli you meet any time past Thursday morning. By Israeli standards, anyone you actually interact with for more than 30 seconds is no longer a stranger, so it's fine to greet them/share your life story.

6. Be loud, angry and combative.

"What??" you're saying. "Israelis are loud, angry and combative!" But here's the thing: Israelis are loud and combative, but they aren't usually angry. To Israelis, being loud and combative is all part of normal social interaction, and it's usually followed up with "shabbat shalom" and "tell Moshe I say hi." When Americans are loud and combative, on the other hand, we get angry, and we tend to leave in a huff with red faces and resolutions to never buy sandals in Israel again. As I said in another post, Americans are ruder (by Israeli standards) than we realize. If you want to seem Israeli, a better bet is to attempt to connect personally with whoever you meet. Being loud and combative is a higher level of Israeli-ness that we usually can't pull off.

I feel like there's more I should add to this list. Have you ever seen people on the street and just KNOWN they're not native Israelis? How did you know?

Then again, we American olim ALWAYS seem Israeli in America and American in Israel, so maybe we should just embrace it...

26 comments:

  1. Interesting post :) I think Hawaiian shirts and pants look very un-Israeli, as are clothes that look conservative and formal on a Tel Avivian summer afternoon.

    Also, everyone in America is sporting side-swept bangs, but it isn't as popular here (it's still popular, but you don't see it on every second person on the street like in the US). Too many people with curly/wavy hair :)

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  2. Haha... I have wavy hair and have tried to rock the side-swept bangs look, with limited success... I agree that it isn't nearly as popular here, though.

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  3. Now you got me thinking. I can recognize non-Israelis with barely a glance, even without the list you gave.
    Oh, wait: teenage girls with good hair, short clothing on October, and very pink toe nail polish and lipgloss.

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  4. i love your blog Maya! Would love to showcase this article on another site with your permission, possibly even the blog. Contact me offline? bendavid.laura@gmail.com
    thanks!

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  5. Laura, I e-mailed you!

    Sfabrications, the hair and the very pink matching lip gloss and toe nail polish... so true. I kind of love Israeli hair, though. Maybe this goes back to me having wavy hair and never being able to pull off the side bangs. :)

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  6. Dang! I love being old! My husband and I wear our sons' Tzanchanim and Golani tee-shirts proudly (sometimes with US-insignia baseball caps, just to embarrass our high-schooler -- who seems immune). We embrace David Kilimnick's assertion that "American olim can never hope to be Israeli. The best they can hope for is to become 'chamoodim.'" We made that long ago. We are "cute," and just so happy finally to be able to live here. Y'all young people, go ahead and work on that assimilation thing, though. It is fun to watch. :-)

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  7. I assume I look really Angle, and I don't try to hard not to, but I've had an increasing number of people ask me for directions. Now that I think of it... only a couple of them were probably native Israeli's, though. The problem is my knowledge of the streets of Petach Tikvah far outweighs my Hebrew skills. People often walk away when it's obvious I don't speak Hebrew. Today I tried saying, "More slowly please." But then I got a life story! Oh, and one Israeli thing I DON'T do: try to give an answer when I really don't know.

    Do real Israeli's eat chips in their falafel? I like it, but I don't know if they only offer it to me because I'm Anglo. With the "no longer a stranger" thing, what is the proper way to great someone you sI assume I look really Angle, and I don't try to hard not to, but I've had an increasing number of people ask me for directions. Now that I think of it... only a couple of them were probably native Israeli's, though. The problem is my knowledge of the streets of Petach Tikvah far outweighs my Hebrew skills. People often walk away when it's obvious I don't speak Hebrew. Today I tried saying, "More slowly please." But then I got a life story! Oh, and one Israeli thing I DON'T do: try to give an answer when I really don't know.

    Do real Israeli's eat chips in their falafel? I like it, but I don't know if they only offer it to me because I'm Anglo. With the "no longer a stranger" thing, what is the proper way to great someone you see a lot, but don't know, like for me, people who work in the pharmacy. I have to admit, the lady in the front of SuperPharm who takes the prescriptions has actually seen me cry. So if I see her on the street: polite wave?

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  8. Do real Israeli's eat chips in their falafel?

    Almost all Israelis eat chips in their falafel, certainly until they are in their 20s'!

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  9. Ruti, I love this: American olim can never hope to be Israeli. The best they can hope for is to become 'chamoodim.'
    So true... and hey, being chamood can get you a long way. :)

    Yosefa, chips on falofel are very Israeli... which is kind of funny, because chips on sandwiches reminds me very much of Pgh, you know? I'd say smile and nod at the people who kind of know but see on the street. You'll figure out if they do it back. What does everyone else think?

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  10. Number 6 is SO TRUE. I was behind and American woman and her mother in the supermarket the other day and she got in a huff when another kupa opened and the man behind her scooted over to pay for his stuff (perfectly acceptable according to the Israeli rules regarding new kuppot opening up). She got in a complete huff, started yelling at him how dare he cut in front her her, what kind of lesson was he teaching to his son (!) and just wouldn't let it go. Of course, i tried to calm her down, to no avail. She looked ridiculous. This just isn't something you get angry about and certainly not angry in that way. Completely inappropriate. Great list

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  11. great list!
    i do 'just know' if someone is american or french, any other olim get right by me. nothing i can put my finger on, more of a way they hold themselves type of thing.
    and the angry thing is *so* true. i think americans, as a generelazation, dont get that different things are acceptable in different countries (as in abbi's story). i find waitresses to be offended if you check the bill, its as if you accused them of cheating, but it seems to be something that new yorkers do automaticaly.

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  12. Similar to the second item - if you're in Jerusalem, don't refer to Emek Refaim Street as "Emek" The 18-year-old foreign students all talk about going to "Emek" (where they will presumably spend alot of "sheks"), but I've never heard Israelis (or even long-time Anglo olim)call it that.

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  13. I was going to say line etiquette....

    I'm on greeting terms with a nurse who has cared for me at a city branch of Terem who I've also seen at the kupah in my neighborhood.

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  14. I would say wearing shorts in the city as long as it's not really, really, really hot. That by the way, goes for tourists everywhere. Very few New Yorkers would stroll around Manhattan wearing shorts, but they'll happily do so in Jerusalem. Personally I tend (or so I think) to blend in a bit too well, with the result that people sometimes get the time to get irritated before the note that I only understand half of they are saying, and switch to English. One typical American thing is the belief that different cultures aren't really different, and that hence Israelis are "wrong".

    Me I'm 40 and just made Aliyah so chances are no Sabra will never mistake me for being on myself, at least after I've opened my mouth;)

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  15. No one EVER mistakes me for an Israeli! In fact, I seem to have a note stapled to my forehead that says "English, please take pity on me". I walk into a store, they say "Shalom", I say "Shalom" and they immediately say "Can I help you?" in English! Maybe it's the red hair and pale skin, although I'm now pretty tanned. I'm not complaining really, I get excellent service just about everywhere (I really DO! but then I'm a Brit not an American, so maybe it just seems good to me) and it's often useful to "lo mevina" even when I do grasp some of it.

    What does crack me up is when I start speaking Ivrit (e.g. "yesh cashpomat po?" and my "victim" says immediately "doan worreeeee, I spik engleeeeeesh ow can I elp you?" obviously thinking that their English is 10 times better than my Ivrit. Do Israelis not realise that they speak English with an Israeli accent, bless them? :)

    I so LOVE this country! :)

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  16. When I was in Israel last month a bunch of people asked me for directions... it's probably cuz I'm Russian and look relatively dark. I speak NO Hebrew, only a couple words at best. I'm currently making aliyah though. :]

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  17. Yes! It drives me up the wall every time I hear some foreigner tell how he had to yell at the postal clerk/checkout clerk/random person in street because that's what you do here. Well, that's what you do here if you want to get pegged as a member of a certain social class.

    BTW, regarding shorts -- not foreign. They're in fashion in Tel Aviv. Preferably with tights.

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  18. The trials and tribulations of immigrantitus (a new disease i have made up)
    You should check out my blog www.theagoraphobicsguideto.com for more quirky tales on the dos and donts of Israeli culture

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  19. im going too maybe move to Israel because im a jew what are things that i really need to know

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  20. Frankly i will wear what I damn well please and say what I damn well please and if some sabra thinks I do not come up to their standard they can shove sand.I am bringing my body and mind and money to Israel to invest and occupy some land and as I run a world wide distribution company and will be employing people they can go protest cottage cheese prices and protest capitalism while wanting rich people to give them money.

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  21. Hi, "SHALOM!" i loved your post, and am new to your site, but I loved your references, especially to fresh off the nefesh flight.
    I'm married to an Israeli, and I mean, sefardi, and have noticed that the yelling thing doesn't go with the anger, der. i've been doing it wrong!
    One more cute thing to add - never speak while eating. Or look at other people while they are, especially if you aren't. I haven't entirely deciphered this (see my new blog where I'm working these things out, matbucha.blogspot.com), but my husband makes sure I do this when we have guests. Sometimes I kinda freak out, "You know, in American, if everyone's eating in silence, we're either mad at each other, or sitting shiva!" They just glare, then keep on chomping in silence.

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  22. Tbh, I didn't have any of those issues while in Israel. In addition, nobody understood I was not native unless I opened my mouth (I hardly speak any Hebrew), and I also tended to feel quite at home. I am Greek. Life in Israel is good. I really understand where the OP is coming from though, as olim from the US of A generally stand out merely by being there, like he implies.

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  23. re: army clothing and hebrew writing: People won't wear uniform pants or shirts (it's actually a crime, technically, for which you can be fined, to wear unifoem if you're not in miluim or sadir) - but it's extremely common to see people in their t-shirts that their units make in the army (ie end-of-basic training shirts), or the unofficial unit tshirts)…..

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  24. One more note, about the "not wearing a kippa if you're not dati" thing:

    Many arsim (or stam "schuna" type ppl) often wear kipot on and off, eych sheba lahem....kacha....look at any beitar y-m game, for example..

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  25. I'm new to this blog and have really been enjoying it!People only get that I'm American after I open my mouth. I live near Ashkelon and I think it is easier to adapt when you're in an area where the Anglo population is very low - you need to learn faster! Actually, most people mistake me for being Russian and were getting annoyed at me when I wouldn't speak Russian with them. Regarding falafel with chips - just tell them how you want it - I usually just ask them to put it on the side...I also enjoy being a chamooda and have no problem with being the "American" in the group.

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  26. Absolutely adore this blog! (: I'm from Ireland and my friends and I are going to Israel on a end-of-education holiday in 2014... this blog will come in handy! :D Keep up the amazing writing! :D x

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