17.2.10

Punning in Hebrish

One thing I've come to appreciate since moving here is that English has a life of its own as a second language. At first I thought it was weird to see, say, Serbian Eurovision announcers talking to each other in awkward English, but then I started to realize that there are many forms of English: American English, British English, and International English (including its Israeli form, Hebrish).  In some Israeli commercials, for example, you actually hear voice-overs in Israeli-accented English-- sure, they could have found someone with a flawless American accent, but they wanted Hebrish, not American English.

One of the most awesome and cringe-worthy aspects of Hebrish is the Israeli love for bad Hebrew-English puns. For example, a pizza shop down the street from us is called פיצה מן, which is a mild pun on "man" and "manna" (as in the bread that rained from the sky for the Israelites in Sinai). "Manna" in Hebrew is pronounced "mon." To any American, the vowel sound in "man" and "mon" are not the same (unless the pizza joint is rostafarian, mon). But Israelis don't hear the difference between these vowels, so... welcome to the world of Hebrish punning, where "dead pun" takes on a whole new meaning.

Here are a few other classic bad Hebrish puns... what would you add to the list?

 

1. The Grand Canyon... which is a mall near Haifa. "Kenyon" is the Hebrew word for "mall." What better name for a big mall than "Grand Canyon"? What... you don't think a majestic natural wonder and a shopping center have anything in common? Well... but... kenyon! Canyon! Get it?


 
2. Zer4U, a chain of Israeli florists. If you don't get this one right away, first consider the fact that "zer" means "bouquet" in Hebrew. Then say "zer 4 U" really slowly and imagine yourself speaking English with a thick Israeli accent... get it? Get it? I'm zer for you!

 
3. Cup O'Joe, an Israeli coffee shop chain. (Thanks to Toby for pointing this one out in the comments of my post about Israelis not being able to read their own language!) Ok, so this one really only works if you read the name in Hebrew as well. In the English version, you see that the name is "cup o'Joe," which obviously refers to a cup of coffee (Joe). But in Hebrew, the vowels and consonants are ambiguous, so the name just as easily reads as "cuppa joe" or "cafe joe"-- and the word for "coffee" in Hebrew is "cafe." See how that works? This is a little more sophisticated than Grand Kenyon or Zer4U, but still fabulous. 

 

4. Top Gan... an Israeli kindergarten. So the word for kindergarten (and garden) is "gan," and that old Tom Cruise movie was called "Top Gun," and in Hebrish "gan" and "gun" are the same sound....  hence this actual name for an Israeli daycare center. (That's not the actual picture-- it's what came up when I ran a google image search for "top gan." Based on its context, I'd say it's some kind of knock-off image from Indonesia.) Do you really want to imagine Tom Cruise giving you thumbs up as you drop little Itay off at gan? Does a Tom Cruise flight movie and a kindergarten have anything in common other than the word "gan"? No... but that never stopped Hebrew punsters! ("Top Gan" is also the name of a chain of garden stores: www.topgan.co.il.) 

Update: here's the real picture of the outside of the Gan, and though it isn't as pretty as a young Tom Cruise, it's about as creepy-looking:


Here's one that "anonymous" brought up in the comments, and it was too good to leave out...


5. Oh Magash, a chain of pizza shops. (Magash=pan of pizza.) Priceless! (For the record, I'm going to continue to believe that "Paz Gas" is not an intentional pun.... please don't tell me otherwise. That would just be too depressing. www.pazgas.co.il)

This phenomenon is so widespread that I'm sure there are examples I'm missing. Have you encountered any bad Hebrish puns?

22 comments:

  1. There's bad Israeli psudo-English child naming. Like "Neta-Li" - in Hebrew it means "my sappling", in English, it's suppose to sound like Natalie. ("suppose" being the operative word..)

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  2. Okay, okay... Good point. However -- and this may be an age thing, as I am moving into the age of grandparent humor, which is big on punning -- I LOVE this stuff! Grand Kenyon cracks me up! Zer4U is too perfect. And having raised many wild young boys, I can tell you that I would be seriously heartened to get a thumbs-up from Tom Cruise at the door of my son's Top Gan. I would have confidence that he would be allowed to move around a little, making zooming noises...

    Thanks for another great post. I love seeing aliyah through your eyes.

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  3. Haha... Ruti, that's a wonderful comment! I'm still laughing from the imagine of your son at "Top Gan." And I kind of love these puns too. :)

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  4. "Zer 4 U" is simply hilarious. Kudos.

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  5. Pretty much every store uses the word "super", but we've already discussed that :) If you want to find a ton of awful Hebrish/Hebrew puns then you'll find plenty of them in newspapers like Yediot..

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  6. There is a Pizza shop near Har Nof in Jerusalem named "Oh Magash Pizza". Magash in Hebrew refers to a pie of pizza. Play on "Oh my gosh".

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  7. Paz Gas?? Oh dear... is that really supposed to be a pun?

    haha... I love Oh Magash Pizza... that's a perfect example of the genre.

    Here's another one that I saw this morning-- it's not a Hebrew/English pun, but it's pretty terrible nonetheless. On the back of the scooter (in Hebrew: catnoa) for the guy who goes around picking up dog doo and citing owners who don't clean up after their dogs: KAKnoa. It was official printing and obviously came with the bike and the job. Poor guy.

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  8. I was actually in Cup o' Joe with an Israeli friend trying to give directions on the phone to an American friend ... I said we were in Cup o' Joe but Eli interrupted and insisted we were in Cafe Joe. Luckily she found us anyway!

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  9. Just for to record (and to set your mind at ease), "Paz" is poetic Hebrew for Gold. So it's "Golden Gas". Actually, I'm not sure that's better...

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  10. Isobel, good point... I think most Israelis call it Cafe Joe.

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  11. Were you in Israel when they milk advert was all about how much we 'lav chalav'

    Actually we love such puns in this house. We're a Hebrew speaking family with only me a native English speaker. My kids often emphasize their Hebrew accents just for a pun.

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  12. Fantastic post! And thanks for the plug :)
    I absolutely *love* the oh magash - that's tremendous! Just for the record, my brother has been long convinced that pazgaz is intentional, but I'm hoping not. I actually know a girl who is named Paz because her grandmother saw a gas station on the way to visit her in the hospital and was inspired... yikes, right?

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  13. There's also the line of dairy/cheese/goat milk products called Gad.. and their adverts are 'Oh my Gad' (written all in Hebrew).

    My favorite though must be.. 'Booger Ranch' which is how most Israelis pronounce Burger Ranch...

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  14. Paz is a fairly common name for young girls, so it's not strange once you take it out of the weird gas station context.

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  15. haha... Booger Ranch always cracks me up (and inspires me not to eat fast food).

    "Oh my Gad" is another classic, as is "we lav chalav"... and I think those make my point about how Israelis don't hear the differences in soiunds taht make these puns so bad. Oy vey!

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  16. Maya, love love love your blog...I am making aliya b''H in a few months so it's particularily meaningful...

    Anyway after reading this blog I came across a new restaurant in Brooklyn called ''10 bis''... LOL

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  17. 10 Bis is a great example... and I'm pretty sure it exists in Israel too! ("Ten" means "give," so "ten bis" is essentially to "give a bite")

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  18. I NEVER realized what Zer4U was supposed to mean, ha! Thanks! I love love this post, got here via Ruti's.

    Fun fun :)

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  19. Grand Canyon is not near Haifa, it's *in* Haifa.
    And the point is not only it's a big mall, it's also built inside a canyon. That's why it's name is so good.

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  20. There's also "מסעדת קם סון, הוד השרון" which is "Come soon" just written in Hebrew. And it kind of sounds like Chinese when you said it in an Israeli accent. Plus the food is delicious.

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